Inter * Marriages

No no, * doesn't refer some censored word. Being a techie [;)] I used * in the context that it refers to anything.

Inter national (Rajiv-Sonia), Inter state (all in Chetan Bhagat's 2 states fever), Inter religion (Jain-Christian why always hindu-muslim?), Inter caste (Mudaliar - Thevar), Inter sub-caste (Iyer - Iyengar), Inter sub sub caste (Vadakalai-Thenkalai).I heard there were marriages conducted between human beings and donkeys too.. Not sure [:P].

hoof..how many divisions? Yes, * really refers to anything.

The level of tolerance towards such marriages differs between individuals. Some are OK till inter caste but nothing more than that. Some are OK as long as both belong to India, thanks to IT.

But most of the Indian marriages are not Inter*.

This post is not trying to speak for one and ridicule other. There have been successful stories in both sides and for sure, failures too. I will just show the roots of issue and leave it to the discretion of readers to take a stand.

First let me tell how I perceive these divisions/groups/societies. It is something like the "Divide and Conquer" algorithm. Divide a bigger problem into smaller ones, solve each small problem so that the bigger problem automatically gets solved. Probably, that should be the reason for these divides. People belonging to a group will help each other for their welfare. Similarly if all the groups does that, the entire human race will prosper. In this angle, division is not a problem.

Problem starts when one society wants to improve at the cost of other. We don't know who started what. But the problem never ends. I will drag you down because you will any way drag me down. That is the mentality.

With this existing less tolerant social system, 2 people (obviously men and women, this post does not speak about homosexuals) start loving each other. Most of the times, those 2 will belong to different sides of the 'Inter boundary lines' their parents have drawn.

Why do parents draw those boundaries? In most of the cases, those boundaries are drawn to ensure that they and their children don't get neglected from the society or group they belong to.

Here comes the interesting scenario. All parents in that society draw that line, afraid of being neglected by others in their society. So a parent won't draw a line if there is no fear of neglect. This is the reality. "I am afraid of others but I am also an other to others". Got it? :) Come on Karthik, what a philosophy! It has to be inscribed in some monument ;)

Inter* marriages happening at high class families (very rich) and low class families (very poor) usually don't face much problems. One don't care much about others and other have better problems to think of. Only in middle class, this is considered as a big problem.

Now what should those 2 true(!?) lovers do?

If they go ahead and marry against the wishes of parents, they may have to face tough time. They would be happy of their marriage but bitter consequences have to be faced. There may be a situation where no one will be there to help that girl during her delivery. Whose group will the child belong to? Struggle struggle struggle. Even though they struggle. most probably, they won't stop their children from doing Inter* marriages. So if many more marriages of that sort happens, then the reluctance towards Inter* marriages will go off and  the entire social system may change.



But should those 2 face such a long battle just for changing the social system? Rather, why don't they understand the reality and part away leading a smooth life with so many relatives, so many well-wishers from their communities. But chances are that they won't allow Inter* marriages of their children too with the same ground of being neglected. Whats the result? No change in social system.



There is no trade-off. Either live with an angel in hell or live with a ghost in heaven. Which one to choose????

How can I say? :)

But I want to tell one thing. Don't think, more Inter* marriages will lead to a division-less society. Groupism is human's nature. Lets say Inter religion marriages is accepted by everyone. Then new combo groups like HinduMuslim, ChristianHindu, JainMuslim will form and there will be again 2 lovers from 2 different combo groups trying to break this and such people will eventually form another group, say HinduMuslimJain and that may be called as a caste "HMJ" some centuries later. Breaking and making divisions is a cycle. You and me won't be alive to see all those transitions.

Feel free to post your comment :)


P.S: I have done lot of assumptions while writing this post. So if you are going to counter argue on something, I may possibly say that an assumption ;)