Being 'House Wife' is not a sin

Disclaimer: Lot of generalizations have been done in this post. I would consider this post to have accomplished its purpose even if a single reader find it reflecting the reality.

 
Even before I start discussing about this topic, I am bound to clarify those people who think, the term 'House Wife' is not correct and it should have been 'Home Maker'. I recently read an article in which a lady has written that women community is thinking of some other better name than Home maker. Whatever be the name, it is no way going to change the way of life of those women who stay at home giving preference to welfare of family. All those people who keep these names are those high class women who have no work spending time at clubs. 'House wife' is no way an inferior term. If you think it is inferior, then you are thinking your house itself as an inferior one.

Ok lets get into the topic.

If we look back, say some 30 to 40 years back, women going for a job was a rare event. May be, that time, 'Not being a house wife' might have been considered a sin. Later, some women started working in govt sectors like bank, post office, schools etc since those works didn't have much pressure and the time was comfortable for them to manage both family and work.

Since husband and wife started working, the economic situation of the family was good enough to make even their girl children study till they wish. Girls started doing masters courses like MSc, MA etc.. Still I am in early 90s. Parents started thinking, "Having studied till masters. Why should she waste her education? Let her go for a job at least till marriage".

We were and are always in a mindset that education is a source of income. If some one studies and then decide not to go for a job, whatever he/she has studied straight away goes into bin and gets wasted.

Going to a college and doing a course is not just for degree and making money out of that degree. It is the exposure a person gets outside in a place like college which matters a lot. The decision of sending girls to colleges and making them do masters is healthy but not the thinking that a educated person should definitely go for a job.

Ok fine, all those MSc, MCA girls started working in private firms. Many colleges were started and good amount of these girls became lecturers in college. Even after marriage, their husbands didn't have problem in they going for a job. After all, they will get more money every month and most of the husbands didn't want to lose it. Yes, more women started working but things didn't become worse even till late 90s. There were good amount of house wives too.

Then came our IT followed by development in all industries. Lot of work force was needed. In parallel, many engineering colleges were started. Those girls who were joining prestigious arts and science colleges earlier started joining BE. When non-conversion of BSc/MSc to job itself was considered waste, who will accept a girl with BE degree to not go for a job?

Most of those engineering graduate girls started working in IT firms. Arts and Science students started going to same IT firms either for a lower profile jobs or started working in ITES industry. Girls working 10hrs/day started becoming common.

They mostly married an IT guy. Both earning a lot every month. Own flat, sedan type car, searching land for investing.... Everything for EMI... "Ok fine, so what is the problem? Things sound great, right? By the time their son/daughter completes their UG, they would have saved some good amount of money for sending their children to US for masters.. Everything looks good. What a prosperous life!"  All these are only at abstract level.

Now, let us zoom into their daily life. Let us say, the working wife don't have a helping husband (we will see who is a helping husband in next paragraph). The girl will wake up at 5AM. Cook, get her husband and children ready. Breakfast, pack lunch for everyone and also take for her. Hurry hurry to office. Full pressure from manager at office.. Come back home.. prepare dinner.. help kids in home work... What will that husband do? He will reach home only at 10PM, sit before television for some time, go to bed and wake up only half an hour before starting to office. No help from that husband in household work..What will that pity guy do? He is in the pressure to double his salary in next 5 years.. She will be under pressure for at least 15 hours/day. I started sweating just while writing about their life style. How are women doing all these and still have their face creams intact even at the end of day? ;) They are naturally born as 'over-time' workers or they were trained like that by this society which calls women going for job as 'Women freedom'? I don't know..

So who are those helping husbands? They are men who accept sandwich as breakfast, have lunch at office and take dinner parcel from hotel for everyone at home. The girl announces holiday to kitchen on all working days. There are some women who feel guilty. So she will prepare noodles (the toughest dish to prepare) for everyone during night. But definitely, those men are helping husbands. They at least share a bad life with their wife.

"Hey hey Karthik. Stop.. You are speaking as if they were forced to work.. This is the life they have chosen and they are happy with it. They earn a lot. They plan their retirement even at their 30s. They make their kids join International schools. Everyone at their home (including their children) have a personal laptop. You should also look at the GDP growth because of women working.. Because both earn, they consume a lot and our economy grows. Why are you stopping the economic growth of India?"

I can make fun of all the statements in the earlier paragraph. But that is not the aim of this post.

I am concerned about those minority girls existing in this IT era who don't like that mechanical life and decided not to go for a job even after having a good education. Fortunately, those girls some how get a man also who has put 'Job Not Must' in matrimonial columns.

But this society irritates her all time. Every time she goes to a shop in the next street at 11AM, she will encounter this question (mostly from a 50s lady).. "what are you doing whole day at home? no work right? see all those girls flying like birds to office with their hand bags."... 'chumma dhana irukka?' is the most hurting question a house wife would ever encounter.

Things get so worse that at some point of time, she starts feeling inferior about herself.. She is made to think "I am waste. No purpose in my life".

What do I have to tell those house wives?. Oh lucky lady. Laugh at people around you who are having dirty life. You have got a peaceful life. Your life is the most purposeful one. You are taking care of a family with utmost care. You are a woman who is not running after money. While women around you are trying to increase the family income from 5Rs to 10Rs, you are a great economist who can run a family with that 5Rs itself. Be happy and ignore those useless ones on the next street.

What do I have to tell those husbands of house wives?.. Let the world tell whatever it wants. But you never ever tell  "What work do you have? You are idle at home, right?". That will hurt her a lot. Please check what interests her. She might have been a singer or a trained classical dancer or an artist or she might have got interest in something recently. Advice her to join classes and learn something which interests her. If she is good in music/dance/arts or anything, encourage her to teach others for few hours every day. Just because she is not going for a job, it doesn't mean she is good for nothing. You understood her feelings and married her. Please understand her feelings forever.